Before I had my two kids, I had a lot of experience interacting with numerous strangers with babies in malls, on sidewalks,  and in grocery stores.  Most of the parents I recall interacting with were stroller-pushers and most of our interactions consisted of smashed toes, clipped heels, exasperated sighs, and impatient excuse me’s.   Avoiding the ire of stranger is just one of the many reasons that baby carriers work.  They make life easier and happier for baby, siblings, parents, and grateful strangers.

Reason #1: Convenience

For Parents and Caregivers

• You can do most things with baby in a carrier, most notably exercise, shopping, eating/drinking, and hanging out at the park with your baby’s older sibling(s).  And  how could we forget using the Blackberry to check email?
• Compared to stroller pushing, a carrier is more convenient when doing a status check: hungry? sleepy? in need of a diaper change? wants to play?  needs a teether (the tell-tale sign of fist-in-mouth)?
• It’s easier to move among crowds with a baby carrier, which never has the clunkiness, the parts to wrestle with, or the potential to impinge on others’ personal space.
• You’ve only got two hands, and if you’re pushing a stroller, you can’t push a shopping cart.  Besides, a baby facing outward in a front-carrier loves to help you push the cart and pick out the ripest apples.

For Babies

• Your baby never has to resort to kicking, crying, or throwing toys out of the stroller to get your atttention.  Right there with you, he or she can communicate directly.  What a relief for both of you.
• Moving from sleeping to eating is a matter of a slight shift.
• Not to mention the comfort and ease of being next to mom or dad, most every baby’s favorite resting place!

Reason #2: Baby Loves Them

Your baby won’t just love riding in a carrier because of the convenience of sleeping and eating in the same spot (Hey, doesn’t everyone love a little room service now and then?). 

There’s also the view to think about.  If you’re a person of small stature, like me, you can empathize with your baby’s limited horizon.  Facing in or out, baby can see the world, staying entertained by the surroundings, and enabling you to keep on doing what you’re doing with a contented baby.

For parents worried about getting baby “too attached”, consider that the more time you give baby to snuggle close during the day, the less  desperate for your closeness she’ll be in the middle of the night.  An infant, pediatricians agree, is incapable of developing bad habits.

 Reason #3: It’s A Womb With A View

Kangaroo care is the term for the care premature infants in Bogota, Columbia received.   With a high infant mortality rate, mothers were instructed to carry their preemies in a cloth pouch close to their chests for every hour of the day, every day of the week.  It worked wonders.

In addition to benefits for preemies, using a baby carrier is beneficial for every baby and every parent.  Babies love the rhythmic to and fro movements of riding in a sling or carrier while parents stroll around. 

They get a pleasant sense of deja vu since the baby carrier is remarkably like the womb, with its closeness to the parent, snuggly “walls”, curled up positions, and movement in synch with the caregiver.

Bottom Line

For us busy parents, who are in need of a couple extra hands, an hour to two of exercise, a low-profile way to get baby to sleep and eat when you’re on the run, and a way to get to know baby’s needs (or personality), there are two words that deliver it all: baby carrier.  And two other words – thank you - that you may not hear, but will definitely be on the lips of strangers, whose heels and toes will live to see another day.

These are some of the reasons baby carriers work so well that raising an infant without one is hard to imagine.  Have I forgotten some of their benefits?  If so, please leave your comments and add to the list.

1. “Is the BabyBjorn safe?  I heard it wasn’t.  Why?”

Some of what you’ve heard is true for very young infants, birth to eight or twelve weeks.  For the smallest and youngest, the Baby Bjorn is a bit too static.  It doesn’t move to nestle and secure the neck and some of the most frequent feedback I’ve seen concerns spinal development.  Babies who aren’t yet sitting up on their own will tend to arch their spines in the Bjorn if it’s not super snug.  Finally, the Bjorn rotates the very malleable hip joints, whether inward or outward facing, beyond what is natural for baby.  For short hour or two jaunts (like I did), this isn’t a problem.  But parents who choose the attachment lifestyle will be better off choosing another option for their baby, such as a sling or wrap.

2. “When can baby face outward?”

Consider why you’d want to face baby outward.  So she can see, right?  Take in her world?  In order to do this, she must have neck control.  The muscles in an infant’s neck should be developed and strong enough to support upright head movement and left to right rotation.    If not, the result is that baby’s nose and mouth will rest on the cloth front in an outward facing carriers, which at worst compromises breathing and at least results in a wet drooling mess.

My baby was born in August, so I used my Baby Bjorn from around October to November. By then it was too cold, but by next spring, when she was eight months old, I had no qualms having her face out. She loved it!

3. “When can baby go on your back?”
One of my favorite things about wraps and soft carriers like the Ergo is that their versatility shone as my kids grew.

At about six months, it’s recommended that you can start carrying your baby on your back.  Though many wrap distributors will show images of smaller sleeping infants in a piggy back carry position, six months is the safest recommended age for back carrying.  At this age, your baby has the strong neck muscles to prevent the head from lolling backward (ouch!), as well as the grip strength and communication ability – if yowls and primeval howls count – to let you know he needs something.

4. “At what age can my baby use a sling?”

Your baby is ready for a sling ride with you from the day she is born.  The cozy enclosed feel of the sling mimics the womb, shields baby’s eyes from bright light and overstimulating surroundings.  And the warmth-regulation between a caregiver and infant is supported by the relatively thin fabric weaves used in most slings.  The sling’s cradle carry is ideal for discreet breastfeeding.

5. “How can I clean my baby carrier?”

For carriers like the Bjorn or Ergo, I’ve washed them in the washing machine on the gentle cycle, using Dreft or even no detergent at all.  Wraps made of cotton-spandex blend are also washing-machine friendly. 

But, as with all cloth-made items, the more you wash them, the more they fade and show signs of wear.  I’ve always limited my washing to three or four times a year, in favor of using spot-cleaning with water and a little nontoxic cleanser.  Even better, some carriers, Bjorn among them, now sell attachable swaths of cushioned cloth which essentially work as drool catchers.  These are a great way to avoid overwashing your baby carrier.

6. What’s best for my newborn?

Your baby wants a carrier that will mimic the womb: close, snug, dark, close to mom’s body warmth and scent.  For this, a wrap or sling (even a ring sling) is the best choice.  As mentioned a little earlier, the ease of breastfeeding with a sling or wrap is ideal and the closeness of a wrap, which can position baby’s head right against your heartbeat, can’t be beat for sleep (Baby’s sleep, that is.  You likely won’t be sleeping for a couple of years!)  This upright sleeping position is also wonderful for infants with colic, as it helps to keep fluids in the tummy.

7. “What’s the most versatile, economical and can be used the longest?”

If you’re saving up for future purchases, or if you just want to be economical, ecological, and streamlined in the baby gear your family accumulates, you have two best bets.  First, I’d recommend a wrap such as the Moby.  Buy one with a silk or cotton reinforced panel where baby sits and you’ll get even more life out of the wrap as baby gets a little older and heavier.

The Moby is really all you need, but for a good second, I’d recommend the Ergo“>Ergo. You can buy the additional infant insert to enable you to use it with your smaller infant (10 pounds). I didn’t bother, because I began using the Ergo when my daughter was eight months old.

That’s it.  The top seven questions.  I hope I’ve answered one of them!

Most significantly, research shows measurable benefits for baby and parents if babywearing is part of the family’s routine in the first six months.  Here are the top five reasons why wearing your baby in a carrier or sling is beneficial:

Physical Benefits

For both full term and premature infants, the benefits of wearing your baby are multiple.  First, baby is made relaxed and at ease, being close to a parent.  Baby’s awareness of the parent heartbeat actually helps her to regulate her own heartbeat.  The same goes for respiration.

The upright holds that can be used in wearing your baby will lessen colic, because gravity will keep nourishment in the baby’s tummy, reducing acid reflux. 

Finally, baby learns to regulate body temperature and avoids getting overheated or chilled when carried close to the mother’s breast.  Scientists found that the breast can rise two degrees Fahrenheit in a matter of several minutes when the mother’s body senses her baby is cold.

Cognitive Benefits

Even in the womb, a baby is regularly exposed to a dynamic environment of changing sounds, lights, shadows, voices, and movement.  Imagine entering the world only to find it a lot more boring than the womb.  Such is the experience of babies swaddled and placed in cribs, pack-n-plays, bassinets, strollers, and swings for extended periods of time. 

Now, I’m not suggesting that you never put your baby down.  However, regular carrying around the house, on walks, and on errands provides crucial cognitive stimulation.  Baby’s sight is developing, including depth perception and color differentiation.  Providing stimulus for this visual development can only help.

Finally, consider all of the brightly colored toys marketed to parents.  These toys are meant to attach to car seats, strollers, crib railings, or bassinets.  But what babies really want is a first class one-on-one tour of the world with you, their favorite tour guide.  The world, with all its moving and noisy parts, is baby’s ideal toy.  Being carried on your chest or back is baby’s best vantage point to see, touch, and interact with this toy.

To this day, my sixteen month-old daughter loves to be front carried on walks so that she can touch leaves, branches, bark, and the occasional flower. Of course, she also loves to break into a toddler-tumble-run and touch all these things on her own.

Emotional Benefits

By wearing your baby every day, the two of you will learn a great deal more about each other at an amazing rate.  You will feel more and more like a parent as you learn the various sways and bounces that soothe your baby when she’s distressed or tired.    This is especially confidence-building for first time parents during baby’s first eight weeks.

When an infant is born, doctors recommend almost immediate skin to skin contact to provide a sense of security, after being removed from the most secure place she’s ever known.  The first three months, sometimes called the fourth trimester, show baby’s continuing need for the love, closeness, and security of a parent.

Development Benefits

Especially in colicky or premature infants, Kangaroo care – the practice of carrying at-risk infants almost all day, every day – has been clinically shown to speed up weight gain, reduce dependence on respiratory support, and decrease rate of infection among these infants.

While not as dramatic for healthy full term infants, babywearing provides developmental benefits for them too.    Babywearing enhances your awareness of baby’s hunger cues, prompting more timely and sometimes more frequent feeding.

Parents’ Benefits

I can’t remember how many times I looked into the co-sleeper when my daughter, now nearly four, slept in it in the first few weeks after her birth.  Every parent is sensitive to that desire to know what baby’s very sound, cry, and squirm might mean.  My wife and I used to wonder whether we’d ever know what our daughter’s cries meant.

The more we wore her around the house to do simple tasks, or around the neighborhood to get some exercise, the faster we learned.  The learning curve for parents of newborns is steep enough.  Babywearing helped us to climb the curve with less effort.

Being hands-free was also a plus not to be overlooked.  While I couldn’t cook an omlette, I got very good, and very grateful, that I was able to wear my baby while taking regular walks, going through the mail, cleaning the house, talking on the phone or reading a book.

Bottom Line

We live in a country where the dominant culture prizes independence and that go-it-alone attitude,  which is passed along to our infants early on, with books that promise to train a baby to sleep on her own at eight weeks, to self-soothe, or to cry it out. 

Yet, research proves that going it alone does not provide the substantial benefits to baby’s well-being that are experienced by babies who are regularly close to parents  in a sling or carrier.  Developmental, emotional, cognitive, physical, and parental benefits show what a difference babywearing inarguably makes.

The Carrier (You!)

As the carrier of the baby, here are a few tips to help you avoid straining your shoulders, neck, and spine.

• Deliberate during your choice of baby carriers. Try each on.  Some store provide a stuffed doll or bear, but I recommend a sack of flour or sugar (10 pounds), which provides a more realistic feel of how the straps and hip strap will feel on your muscles.
• Ask for a store employees assistance in adjusting the carrier. Make sure you understand how to adjust it ideally for your posture protection.  Even watch yourself walk – this is a far cry from the catwalk, I know – and notice whether your posture and stride are different with the carrier (and sugar baby) on.
• Wear the carrier around the store while you register for other baby items.  How does it feel after ten minutes?  After thirty?
• If you are familiar with the spine, yoga, chiropractics, or pilates, consider neutral spine.  Notice whether you can easily maintain a neutral spine – not arched or curved – and upright shoulders – not curved or thrown back – while wearing the carrier.

If you’re like me, your posture isn’t even this good when you’re walking on your own, without a carrier or a baby in it.  That’s why I’d also recommend a little tool my wife first read about in O Magazine, and later in Cooking Light.

It’s called the iPosture (available at http://www.iposture.com/)  It’s price has come down significantly.  It attaches to a tank-top strap, bra strap, or (what serendipity) a baby carrier strap.  After you calibrate it to notice when you are in a healthy posture, it will vibrate if you are slumped for more than one minute.

The Carried (Your Baby!)

Insure safety by reading all of the directions.  Read them several times and practice each step of the strap-tightening or wrap-tying technique.  If you are raising your baby with one or more adult caregivers, practice together and check each other.

Recently, the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission issued a warning about baby sling safety. Sadly, there have been deaths. Improper use can definitely harm your baby – this includes baby’s face pressed into the fabric, a possible suffocation hazard. If your baby’s body is too curled in such that the chin is tucked into the chest, quickly adjust your baby’s position so they can breathe properly. Slings are very safe, but like everything else, they must be used as directed. Here’s an illustration from the CPSC on the proper position for baby in a sling (click to enlarge):

Don’t be swayed by the simplicity of your chosen baby carrier’s design.  I don’t want to make you hyper-paranoid, but always check your baby’s position, and if a week or two goes by when you don’t use the carrier, re-read the instructions so you are very familiar with how to wear your baby – especially if your infant is less than four months old.

Put Down That Spatula

Face it!  We are proud multi-taskers.  And there’s nothing like the 24/7 addition of a new baby to your line-up of duties and responsibilities to make you want to cheat time all the more.

This is one of the best qualities of using a baby carrier.  Exercise, light house cleaning (no chemicals, of course), de-cluttering, laundry folding, email, phone calls, mail sorting, shopping, and reading are just a few baby-carrier-friendly activities.

I certainly don’t want to insult your intelligence, but there are a few not so obvious situations where multitasking with your baby in the carrier can be downright risky or harmful.  Here’s the shortlist of perhaps unconsidered ill-advised activities:

• Any activity on wheels: skateboarding, skating, bikeriding, scooters, ATVs.
• Any mutimedia viewing that will be too visually intense, loud, or prolonged for baby, including computer work, TV viewing, and video games.
• Cooking: with the stove, oven, or microwave, or any other electric device (blender, toaster, food processor).  While buttering toast, be mindful of an older baby’s curious reach, which might lead to grabbing the wrong end of the knife.
• Any activity in which you’re inclined to bend at the hips: Using the restroom, yardwork, picking up toys.    Always remember to bend at the knees and keep your back – and hence your baby – upright.
• Seated desk work: With baby in a front carry, particularly if legs are dangling, her posture and hips can be curled and crunched unnaturally.

When in doubt, take baby out.  If you have even a second thought about  whether an activity is safe to do with your baby in the carrier, don’t do it.  I can remember even a seemingly harmless activity – escorting my son on his first pony-ride with my daughter in a front carrier.  First, she got her fingers wedged under the bridle, then I slipped in some horse manure and nearly lost my balance.

Bottom Line

For safe babywearing, be a contingency thinker.  I’m not encouraging the kind of paranoia parenthood tends to bring on, anyway.  Rather, by considering all of the possible outcomes to your posture and to your baby’s well-being, you might just be able acquire the kind of foresight you’ll need down the road when your kids are teenagers.

1. Dyed in the wool hiking types: These are the REI-member parents, the couples who, before having kids, may have met in an outdoorsy setting.
2. The newly converted nature buffs: These are the parents who want to show their kid the world, want to impress upon their baby the beauty, fragility, and importance of nature.

Whether you’re a 1 or a 2, you need the same type of baby backpack carrier, the kind for hiking with baby, the kind that will provide comfort for baby, shade from the sun, pockets for necessities, and external frames and waist-harnesses to support your lumbar region.

Big Name Backpack Carriers for the Big Outdoors

Kelty

Well-known for its legacy of packs for outdoor lovers and backcountry hikers, Kelty makes several external framed and several soft-framed packs.  The Kelty nomenclature is easy to follow.  There’s FC 1.0, FC 2.0, and FC 3.0.    Essentially, as the numbers get bigger, the features list gets longer and the price gets higher.  All three have the standard safety features most hiking parents want:

• A sturdy aluminum frame
• A self-deploying kickstand
• An adjustable waist belt
• A sternum strap
• An adjustable five-point harness for baby
• Loops to attach toys
• Reflective tape for evening visibility

That said, here’s what makes them different.  

• FC 1.0 – Food for up to 50 pounds, includes under the seat storage.  A good all-around, but with no sun/rain shade.  Said to be for shorter strolls or shopping, though I’ve never seen anyone use an external frame carrier in a store or mall.  
• FC 2.0 -  Separates itself from the 1.0 with its removable diaper bag and additional storage in the waist pouch.
• FC 3.0 – Their deluxe model, with everything in the 2.0, plus a changing pad, sunshade included (hallelujah!), and cellphone strap pocket.  The thing I love most about this one is that its components are removable for washing.

Deuter

This outdoors gear and travel bag company makes four packs for carrying baby and all baby’s needs for a day hike or daily hiking excursions from a well-appointed basecamp with restrooms and showers. 

From least to most decked out they are:

• KangaKid – Looks like a standard day pack, but expands to hold your little hiker when her legs are tired.  Holds up to 33 pounds. 
• Kid Comfort I – External framed carrier, with max capacity of 48 pounds.  Has a padded headrest for your sleepy cargo and ample padding for your hips.  Safety features include a padded five-point harness and kickstand, making it self-standing if you need to remove the pack with your mini-Muir still in it.
• Kid Comfort II
  – This is Deuter’s best seller.  Like the Comfort I, it holds a max of 48 pounds.  It has a side-entry harness, and Vari-harness system, which is great for accommodating your growing child.  It also has a height adjuster, so baby can be sure to see Half Dome instead of Dad’s dome.  It’s more outfitted with features – like a reflector, more zipper storage pouches, and the feature I like best, an integrated hydration sleeve – like a camel back.  The product specs say there’s room to store an optional rain/sun hood.  Great, but I have a problem with all carrier makers, in general, not including the sun/rain hood.  Who isn’t going to use it?  I see the hood or shade as a necessity, not an accessory.
• Kid Comfort III – The fully-featured model, though I can see why it doesn’t sell quite as well as the Comfort II (verrrry expensive.)    What I like about it is that it has a two-point lifting system.  Most carriers have one handle, located where the nape of the wearer’s neck would be.  This version has an optional hydration system, but includes the sun/rain hood as part of the integrated package.  Two other  standout features, perhaps worth the splurge are the 3-D mesh back and washable/removable chin pad.  The first keeps your back dry. The second keeps baby’s chin dry.

Sherpani

The “She” in Sherpani is meant to imply that the company has women in mind when they design their array of purses, satches, work, fitness, and hiking bags.  They make one baby carrier, called the Rumba, and if the person carrying your baby during hikes is  most often going to be a woman, Sherpani’s Rumba is worth seeking out.

Sherpani Features Include

• Weight limit: 70 pounds for the Rumba (I can’t even imagine!) and 55 pounds for the Rumba Superlight model.
• Distinguishing Features (these apply to both models): Super comfortable hip belt.  Not only a five point harness, but a chest-plate to help your little one’s posture (no slouching), lots of pouches for storing, and a modern look.  This one doesn’t look as out of place in the mall as some of the other more rugged outdoor child carriers. And, I’ve saved the best for last: The sun shade/ rain hood is (gasp)included!   

A Trip Planning Guide:

Practice Run

Always take baby to a place you’ve already been.  Elevation deltas affect a hike’s overall difficulty, even if the miles are short.   Check out the terrain too.  Are there lots of loose rocks or gravel, tripping hazards such as tree roots?  Understand what it’s going to feel like to be pulled backward by the extra weight of the pack and baby, especially when you start to wobble on the trail.

Pre-pack For Your First Few Hikes

I’ve had success in packing our kids’ items for a day hike first by throwing everything into a laundry basket that goes next to our empty external framed carrier in the trunk.  I wait until we get there to load the carrier, as this usually gives me time on the drive to think about what’s really needed.  And if the kids snack heavily in the car and upon arrival, I load fewer morsels into the pack.  This also keeps us from packing three kinds of sweaters.  Checking the weather upon arrival allows us to put only necessary outerwear in the pack.

Timing is Everything

When planning your trip, consider your child’s nap schedule.  Hikers on moderate terrain average 2-3 miles an hour, with occasionally photo-op stops.  Plan on lengthening this to add in down-time for your little explorer to get up close and personal with a leaf or pinecone. 

Don’t Hesitate to Fail

I have a hiker friend who is loathe to turn back.  But now he’s a father and all that’s changed.  Stay highly tuned to your child’s reactions and behavior cues and pull the plug on a trip or walk that seems to be unraveling.   If your child starts to get fussy, don’t forge ahead on the assumption that things will get better.  Assume they will get worse.

Try, Try Again

But don’t give up!  Try a new place, a new time, and a new purpose, perhaps apicnic or swimming hole.No matter which carrier you choose, your child will thank you for time outdoors…that is, as soon as he or she can talk.

Discuss having an active lifestyle and how you can fit this into having a baby – introduce baby backpacks such as Kelty, Deuter and Shirpani, pros and cons of each, and tips for day trips with baby

As a first time mom, my play group compatriots and I shared stories and advice aplenty. One frequent topic was breastfeeding in public.  With my firstborn, the question was whether to do it.

But as many of us moved on to our second pregnancy and birth, the questions became whereand how to do it.    So what follows are a few tips from one mom who’s been there.

Best Places To Breastfeed

Photo by c r z

The best places list is based on three criteria:

• Minimal Distractions for Baby
• Privacy or Crowded Anonymity
• Somewhat Comfortable Seating

In no particular order, they are…

• The Mall – These days, most with the stores we want to shop in have great family lounges adjacent to the restrooms.  Large rooms with changing tables and dedicated nursing alcoves – usually about three – describe most shopping mall family lounges.  I loved the nursing alcoves.  I’ve been in some with doors and others with floor to ceiling curtains, cutting down on noise and distraction.
• Dressing Rooms – There are a lot of great things about The Gap, not the least of which is their collection of wearable maternity garb.  They keep me coming back to clothe my kiddos with their roomy dressing rooms and one dedicated dressing room-turned nursing room.  What I like about The Gap is that the restrooms are nearby.  Restrooms matter when your breastfeeding, as you probably know, because you’re trying to stay hydrated and your uterine muscles are still out of shape and because we know what our babies do after they eat.
• The Park – In good weather, I love the park because I can plant myself anywhere, creating privacy by putting distance between myself and others.  Under a tree sitting cross-legged was one of my favorites.  Eddie Bauer and others make great picnic blankets with nylon waterproofing on one side.  I kept one of these in my diaper bag and used it as a changing pad too.
• The Movie Theatre – If not getting out is getting you down, watch the paper for their “Diaper Days” showings of films, which are usually around noontime.  They lower the volume to protect little ears and you get some much needed entertainment.
• The Public Library – Recent court challenges have refused to restrict library patrons’ access to explicit content (ie porn) on library computers.  Suffice it to say that the library is a welcoming place for nursing babes in arms.  As are some of the big bookstore chains.  In both places, I’ve found stools and chairs in the children’s area and fed my babies without interruption or hassle.

How To Stay Under the Radar – Outfits

This comes down to two necessary wearables, one for you and one for baby.

If you’re breastfeeding, you’ve likely invested in some quick access nursing bras and tanks.  If you’re like me, you’d rather not show the loose folds of skin in the tummy region, which can flop out if you’re wearing a nursing bra and a shirt.  Hoist the shirt up and voila, my muffin top was there in the flesh for all to see.  No thank you.

So I encourage you to opt for a nursing tank top (very reasonably priced and well made at Target) and a loose shirt over it.  For a splurge, I’d recommend Glamourmom Nursing Bra tanktop, which are reinforced with spandex (available online at Amazon).  They’re also longer than the average tank and some have lace trim.  I appreciated the stretchy snugness around my middle, which smoothed out the appearance of whatever shirt I wore over it.

What about nursing shirts?  I had a couple of these, but I’m not a big fan.  The openings and fabric folds underneath always ended riding up above the outer rim of the scoop-necked shirt.  Not pretty.  And the shirt alone doesn’t offer enough coverage if you want to be a bit discreet.

That’s how to outfit you; now for baby.

When breastfeeding in public, the sling is the thing.  Truly.  Although I once breastfed with my daughter facing inward in a front carrier, it was not pleasant for either of us.  Here are a few recommendations:

Ring Slings: Several companies make these, including the Maya Wrap ring sling ($60) and ZoloWear’s Ring Sling, in cotton ($79), breathable mesh ($69), or silk brocade ($125).

Ring slings are a better choice than other slings simply because the extra fabric works as an instant nursing cover.  Just pull up one corner of the extra fabric length hanging down from the ring.  Tuck the corner under the strap of your opposite bra shoulder strap.

Wraps: If baby hates to be covered up (and what baby doesn’t want to stare up at mom while eating), Didymos and Moby wraps are helpful in this case because there’s a little more built-in coverage for you and baby.  Baby’s head is usually tucked into one section of the wrap that goes down under their bum and up over your shoulder.  It’s not like he can wrestle this fabric out of the way.  But on the downside, it’s a lot harder to get baby positioned and latched on in a front-carry wrap.

How To Deal With The Rudeness of Strangers

For all its difficulties, expensive accessories, and judgmental inquiries, breastfeeding my babies brought me a sense of satisfaction, calm, and relaxation unique unto itself.

This is not to say that I never encountered invasive and ignorant strangers.  It is lawful to breastfeed in any public place where food is served or allowed.  You probably don’t want to get into a conversation with a rude person who makes a comment while your feeding your baby.  It can’t be good f0r the letdown, so ignoring the remark and turning your head the other way is best.

But if they persist, however well-meaning they may (or may not) be, tell them any of the following (these go from tame to mildly tenacious):

1. “Please take up your concern with the management.”

2. “I’m not in the habit of taking advice from strangers, thanks.”

3. “Please be courteous and allow my child to eat.”

4. “Oh,” (in a surprised tone, like something just dawned on you) “you must not be aware of the law, which allows babies to eat anywhere you can.  Now you are.  Have a good day.”

5. “Did your mother refuse to feed you as a child?”

Okay, so maybe the last one’s a bit cheeky.  But it takes only one invasive remark to transport most moms from meek to militant on this subject.  Where ever you are on this spectrum, make the process as easy as possible with friendly places, cozy spaces, and snug ring slings, then shut the world out feed your baby in peace.

How Do I Know If My Baby Has Colic?

• The Rule of 3s: The Mayo Clinic defines colic as 3+ hours of crying a day, 3+ days per week, for 3 weeks or more (in an otherwise healthy, well-fed baby)
• What Colic Looks Like: Flush-faced baby, curled up legs, clenched fists, strained/tightened abdominals.  Gas or a bowel movement usually come at the end of a colic episode.
• What Colic Sounds Like: You’ll know! Colicky infants usually scream at around the same time each day.  In our house, we called this the “Baby Witching Hour.”  If you have a colicky baby, you know how valuable a sense of humor can become.  For us, it was 6PM to around 3AM for the first couple weeks, then 6-8 PM, every night for two more months.  Unlike the cry of our baby waking or feeling hungry, the colic cry was a screech, loud and persistent.  We likened it to what we imagined the infernal scream of a prehistoric Teradactyl must have sounded like.

What Do Parents Usually Try?

• Books: The Happiest Baby on the Block by Harvey Karp.  Though the concept of a missing “forth trimester” theory was a bit weird, his techniques worked. It includes placing your swaddled baby tummy down on your forearm, walking, gently jiggling baby, and loudly “shhhhhh-ing” baby (in the womb, your baby was used to sounds louder than the average vacuum cleaner, so this mimics it).  Swaddling worked pretty well, but as started well after our baby was a month old, it wasn’t as effective as it could have been.
• Medicine: Always check with your doctor to make sure baby is healthy, with no additional health problems or undiagnosed concerns.  Our doctor recommended some simethicone drops, which we used occasionally.  Make sure your doctor recommends them, as well as the proper dosage, before using.
• Homeopathics: Under many names, a substance called Gripe Water, the most widely marketed of which is called Colic Calm, claims to calm intestinal distress. We bought another brand of gripe water and found that it had no appreciable effect. But if it works for you, great!  As any parent of a colicky infant will tell you, whatever works, do it.  Be it gripe water, loud shushing, swaddling, or standing on your head while singing the Beatles.
• Rocking, Driving, Walkin’g: The key word here is movement. In a glider or a rocking chair, in a car, or wearing a circular path in the carpet of your house at 3:00 AM.  Each of these has its plusses and minuses – again, whatever works is what you’ll end up recommending to others when you’re in the relative bliss of the terrible twos – but it comes down to movement.  Baby was in motion for ten months in the womb, she wants to continue moving!

Why Walking With Baby in a Carrier Works

Like I’ve been saying, it all comes down to movement.

As a Dad, I’d come home from work a couple hours before baby started her daily colic (joy oh joy.) That’s what made me think about a baby carrier in the first place. Reading Karp’s book, and on the recommendation of another parent, I bought a baby carrier and began taking our little screamer for walks at the appointed time. About five steps out of the house, she calmed down, and within five minutes she was sleeping, nestled on my chest. I was hooked.

Your baby wants to be held, you want a little exercise.  Your baby won’t stop crying unless her head is resting against your chest, you have a headache, and both need immediate solutions. A baby carrier is a no-brainer.

Here’s some specifics to help you understand which carriers and baby positions are best known for alleviating colic.

Any Particular Colic-Reducing Carrier or Hold/Position?

Infants 2-4 months: Wraps like the Moby or tie-carriers like the Mei-Tai. Why?  You want baby upright, in a vertical position on the front of you (I used a Baby Bjorn, but then, I’m, a guy, and she was 3 months old when I tried it.)  Facing in is best for infants this young.  Light walking around the block will create the consistent movement that can release the gas in baby’s tummy or provide the prenatal soothing she’s used to.

Infants 4-6 months: Same as above, but also add Ergo, front carrier with or without infant insert.  The BabyBjorn classic model is also a good choice here, as it’s fool-proof and keeps baby in the most vertical, yet comfortable position possible with lots of back and neck support.  Baby should be tummy to tummy.  A side hold or sling hold will crunch up baby’s abdominal muscles, intensifying colic symptoms.

Babies 6-9 months:  (By then, colic should be over, but if not …) The BabyBjorn, facing in or out, Moby facing in or out, and even the Ergo, facing in or on back in the piggy-back style, which allows baby’s spine to naturally curve parallel to yours, relaxing all the baby’s core muscles, alleviating colic symptoms as you walk, stroll, or even as you shuffle from foot to foot, checking your email on your laptop in the kitchen.

Why Baby Carriers Work to Reduce Colic

1. Baby stays upright (don’t use a sling or put baby in a cradle-hold)
2. Gentle walking or bouncing while baby is carried releases painful gas bubbles and keeps bowels moving.
3. Babies prone to reflux benefit from upright carrying, as stomach acid doesn’t creep up the esophagus.

The overall movement and swaddle-feel of most carriers resembles the womb.

The compelling case for carriers reducing colic is simply this: They are the closest thing to the womb since the womb.  The  best source of comfort a baby can hope for when his tummy his upset. Though baby carriers is not a “cure”, as the title suggests, it’s a welcome break for everybody involved, baby almost always falls asleep, and, for us at least, we got her “screaming hours” down to about two a night from six. Having a carrier was definitely worth it – that and keeping up a sense of humor!

(Trust me, one day, you’ll almost forget those long, sleepless nights of despair, helplessness, and earplugs.)

How Does Kangaroo Care Work?

The infant mortality rate for preemies topped out at 70% in Bogota, Columbia in the 1980s.  Out of necessity,  a protocol of care mandated that premature infants were held 24 hours a day by their mothers and caregivers.  With little in the way of advanced medical care,  holding baby close all day was the only option to reduce infection, improve respiratory weakness, and bond parent and child.  Researchers were amazed and encouraged by the stunningly successful results: rapid growth, increased vitality, freedom from respiratory therapy, improved feeding, and retention of body heat.

How Kangaroo Care Helps:

Preemies don’t have the body regulatory systems of full-term babies.  They lose body heat quickly, making them vulnerable to illness.  But when a baby is carried close to the mother’s chest, her body actually senses the baby’s temperature and the breast temperature rises 2 degrees in a matter of minutes. 

Not only does carrying help baby’s temperature regulation, but preemies’ greatest health challenge: hearty and unaided respiration.  Premature infants cannot regulate their breathing, but when carried chest-to-chest with a parent or caregiver, preemies match their breathing to their parents’. 

And getting to know your baby is perhaps the best benefit of all.  And I’m not just talking about emotional benefits.  Preemie parents have a steep learning curve.  When your baby has been contained most often in a plastic incubator, holding him as much as possible will feel like a dream come true.  It will also be the much needed crash course in bonding both of you need.

Which Carriers Are Perfect for Preemies?

• Slings: Ring or pre-sized, these are an ideal choice for preemies because of their soft, yet snug feel.  Baby is supported and shielded from head to toe.  Slight adjustments can move your little one from a more supine cradle position for eating to a more upright position for digestion and sleeping, with baby’s head near the thrum-thrum of your heartbeat.  Because preemies can be carried with kangaroo care when they weigh as little as 4.5 pounds, a slightly stretchy carrier can provide softness that a 100% cotton carrier cannot.  With heavier babies, this give can reduce the feeling of having a secure carry, but this stretchiness is ideal for newborns.  Also, the absence of rough seams is a plus.  I recommend the jacquard weave of the Didymos ring sling.
• Wraps:  Offering even more versatility than slings in the way you hold your premature baby, wraps provide the best fit.  The Moby and other similar knit-wraps allow for the best newborn front-carries and will still be practical for when your baby is a bit bigger, when you can use the hip carry, outward facing, and back-carrying wrap styles.  Wraps are also ideal for preemies and their parents because size isn’t an issue.  No gaps or loose pockets of fabric will separate baby from you, which maximizes the temperature regulation benefits of kangaroo care.

Bottom Line:

Kangaroo care has been used when there was no other specialized care option for preemies.  But even when other options are available, when preemies are taken home, the best option is still available: baby carrying.  The research confirms that the more preemies are held close by their parents, the faster they will grow, gain weight, develop cognitively through eye contact and communication from parents, and become independent in their ability to regulate breathing and body temperature.

The best thing you can do for your premature infant is also the thing you most want to do.  It’s the best of both worlds, all wrapped up.

Dad-As-Wallflower

And your baby seems only to want what she’s known for nine months: Mom.  You start to feel like the third wheel or the odd dad out when social expectations, your own inexperience, and a flurry of visits from wise grandmothers puts you right smack on the outside of all things baby.  But the most important thing to remember is that a dad who uses a baby carrier regularly wins two hearts and sets his own aflutter.

Carrier Bonding For Dads &  Babies

That’s right, your heart’s aflutter. When you look at your new baby, consider what it means to you to be a dad, and hold your little one for a feeding or a lullaby session.

Or put on a baby carrier and take your baby out to see the wide world – or at least the neighborhood – while your wife takes a much needed break.  Wearing your baby in a BabyBjorn in front is easy to do and gives your little one the chance to fall asleep against your chest.  Baby will be lulled to sleep by the rhythm of your stride and you’ll get to steal about a hundred kisses on the crown of her head. 

The gadget-geek in you will like to know that one Baby Bjorn will adjust to fit both you and your wife with a few simple pulls on the extra strap lengths.  And if you think a sling is a bit too feminine, consider the Ergo carrier, which allows you to carry your newborn, or even think about the Balboa sling marketed by Dr. William Sears.  Hey, a guy invented it.

Dad Points

With mom as primary food source for most newborns and with the first three months often called the “fourth trimester“, dads who use slings and carriers create daily opportunities to develop the unforgettable and unmistakable closeness to their babies.  Although the evidence is at best anecdotal, since your baby needs care 24/7, the more you volunteer for in the way of carrying and walking with baby, the less likely you’ll be flying solo with diaper duty and late night cry-fests.

Powerful Knowledge

Ever hear that parents of newborns learn to differentiate and understand their newborns’ cries?  My wife and I waited a while for this to happen, but wearing my daughter in a carrier helped.  As a newborn, she was swaddled and settled into the soft crescent of our Balboa sling.  Taking a walk and keeping an eye on her, I could tell when she was squirming due to gassiness, arching due to colic, and when she was hungry, she’d make little mewing sounds and start to turn inward and nuzzle my shirt. (Sorry, nothing there!)

Baby Carrying Dads Score the Win-Win

Using a baby carrier to give mom a break, take the dog for a walk, show your newborn off to the neighborhood, or get some much needed fresh air…these are just a few ways you can have your cake and eat it too as a new dad. For me, it was to soothe her colic. I got into a routine after dinner, because that was her “witching hour” – 6:25 on the dot, for eight weeks, she would begin screaming for about 8 hours. When it began, I would put her in my Baby Bjorn and walk for an hour. Her colic some settled to around 3 hours, minus 1 hour sleeping on me while I walked with her nuzzled into my chest.

I got to know my daughter more quickly and in a more complete and nuanced way.  Sure, I loved her before she took her first breath, but learning what made her tick, how to soothe her, and just hearing her breathing as we strolled made me feel more like a real dad than a dad in training.  I could speak with the authority of experience about what made my little girl drift to sleep, how she liked to be bounced.

And everyone wins when dads carry their babies on a regular basis.  Aside from the intrinsic bonding, knowledge of baby’s personality, and satisfaction at finding ways to be involved and ‘doing your share’ as a dad, there’s something else that - were it the only reason to don a baby carrier – would be a little suspect.  

In the currency conversion of family relationships, those dad points become partner points when the mother of the little bundle attached to you realizes the impossible is happening.  Just when she thought she couldn’t love you more, she does!

To help you find a baby carrier that becomes your dependable stand-by instead of a dusty relic, it is important to understand the origins and history of baby carriers, how they have evolved, become specialized, and, even in some cases, lost their original charm.

Mother Nature: Agrarian Momstyle

In every ancient civilization the world over, mothers tended their children and their crops.  Baby wearing was not a choice.  Rudimentary fabrication skills and steep terrain (think Tibet, Vietnam, the Andes) delayed the invention of babies-on-wheels by several centuries.  With little but herbal remedies and ancient rituals to protect newborns from high infant mortality rates, being next to mom was the best way for a child to survive and thrive.

In short, why did women wear their infants?  Every child breastfed.  What choice was there?  In fact, it was common in most villages to breastfeed another’s child, if the mother could not provide milk.

Agrarian life required constant attention to every element of survival (drinking water, growing and preparing food, rearing children, constructing shelter, caring for the aged).

Before being able to walk, the infant would know nothing of play. He only knew the closeness of his mother’s breast, her breathing, her movements, as he clung to her, swaddled in the outer layers of her wrapped clothing.  Here he stayed virtually 90% of the time, in both waking and sleeping states.

For Bonding’s Sake?

Interestingly, bonding was the last thing on a mother’s mind.  There was no child care.  No formula.  No one to delegate the planting and harvesting to.  In short, there was no choice for a mother but to wear her baby.  Yet across the centuries, it’s a certainty that mothers back then loved their babies as do mothers, now.  With none of the accessories and rituals of modern love,  the all-day closeness of her loving child provided that sense of joy in the parent-child bond that we easily recognize in ourselves when we become parents.

Middle Ages, Feudal Stages

As an English teacher, I can tell you that when the silly Nurse, in Shakespeare’s classic tale of love and woe, says that Juliet is “the prettiest babe that ere I nursed withal,” she means it.  In fourteenth century Europe, when the feudal system thoroughly segregated people by  birth, nurse maids were female servants with children of their own who also nursed the infants of the lady, duchess, or queen.  At this stage, sling-like carriers were still the norm, but were used less due the multitude of servants and the ease of specializing their tasks.  In other words, the nurse was the stand-in mom and nothing else.

In the Americas…

Meanwhile, across the Atlantic, pre-invasion North America was an unconquered pastoral, a patchwork of cultures and tribes that followed the weather and the buffalo.  Some carriers were woven wool, the blankets used by everyone, but wrapped around mother with baby in the back.

The term ‘papoose’ (also known as a cradleboard) refers to a more structured baby carrier. They are made of a bone or wood frame, with a sewn leather or woven basket pouch.  Some of these papooses (the word is Algonquin in origin), were ornately decorated with carved designs and turquoise ornaments.  

Impressive handmade carriers, the Native American pre-cursor to the modern baby carrier, has the best of what was to come: the warmth and structure for an outdoors life and the flare and style indicative of its wearer’s culture.  Some even had sunshades and other accessories.

1830s-1950s: More Work, Less Wear

From industrialization in Europe and the Americas up to the 1950s, baby carriers became something of a scarlet letter.  Mothers in the laboring class took jobs where their infants couldn’t come along.  Mothers in the leisure-class frowned upon anything messy, including close proximity to their own little mess-makers.

With infant mortality rates still high, in hindsight, it was the older children who took care of infants while the mother worked.  Until, of course, those older children could earn twenty cents an hour for twelve hours a day.  Child and labor: two words that should only be put together when talking about a birth!

The 1960s-Present: The Equal Right to Wear

It makes sense, then, that the 1960s, with its surge of civil rights, social justice, and egalitarian mind-set, that baby carrying experienced a renaissance.  The swaths of fabric were still the choice, tied (and tie-dyed) in sling, back, and front positions. Breastfeeding was also back in and completing the pattern, babywearing was part of a more relaxed lifestyle that spread during this and the subsequent decade.

Most long-standing companies like Babybjorn and Didymos have been around since the 1970s.  But it was the 1980s, when middle income families felt “in the money” that style, fashion, and specialized uses produced the explosion of styles, materials, and companies that today still complicates our decision about which carrier to buy.  Synthetic fabrics and plastics gained some popularity, as technology made it easier to create designs that were cheap to mass produce.  But this most recent renaissance of the baby carrier didn’t change the way some older companies, like Didymos, and some newer companies, like Ergo and Moby, design an manufacture their carriers.

These wraps and slings are as old as the agrarian mother who simply slipped her baby into a pocket fold of her dress.  Simple design.  Hand woven and organic materials.  Ease of breastfeeding.  Maximum closeness.

Not much has changed.  Except for one major fact. Dads.  48% of men report wearing their infants.  Even though they don’t wear them nearly as often as mothers, this represents a shift of continental proportions.

In households where both parents work, both become babywearers as a way of bonding while still getting out during precious weekend hours.  If one works, the one who stays home is increasingly likely to be as dad.  Finally, trends show flexible scheduling, telecommuting, and freelancing from home as lifestyle changes that have men wearing the baby.